This was written 8/19/09
My life right now:
is like sitting on a park bench
seeing 2 pathways
but not clearly seeing whats at the end of them
I only see the the start of each trail
each one looks the exact same from where I sit
But in fact they are very different
I have no idea where they lead or what lies in between
if I should walk them and see the journey unfold.
I sit on the park bench waiting
Not knowing what path to take
and for some reason I feel at comfort on the bench.
For now anyway
yes I am curious
but yet I don't feel a compulsion to take a path yet.
There are still things I want to accomplish here on my park bench
I want to relish the nature that sits before me
I want to experience the wild, enjoy it.
I want to look at what this place where I sit now, has to offer
before I make my journey onward.
why move when there are still so much to be done been here, why miss out on something
just to leap forward and try something new?
Why do some people want to taste new things and jump ahead as if they were in an eating contest...
Tasting something and then quickly moving on to something new even before they could detect each spice, each flavor and fully appreciate how delicious every morsel really is
They race...and are off to something new even before they can swallow and truly appreciate an experience.
Me on the other hand I have always been different then the rest ....
I tend to be the tortoise in the" Tortoise and the Hair" story
I have always been shunned for being like this...slower then the others...
But I get there...I catch up, I just have to take things in my own time...
Things can not be forced on me, I need to feel like I have some say in my own life....
Yes this bench is fine...for now...and at times I get an itch to move...I have come a long way actually...
but I still have not chosen a single path
I have traveled far to get to my bench though
Don't get me wrong I have taken steps to get here...and like a bus stopping at each bus stop...
I am here at one more destination
My next stop is somewhere in those two paths...
These two nameless paths are there calling to me...
These calls are whispers right now
I don't care to follow their calls
Fore they are drowned out by all the adventures I see right before me
I am in the middle of a whole beautiful world right here, right now...
I want to experience this; and then when I lapped up every morsel and squeezed the last bit out of it..
Only then and when I feel ready, I will move on.
Life comes once...youth comes once...why rush?
It seems like those who rush are near me in the end anyways.
Like a speeder in traffic ... impatient enough to wait, the one who hauls butt, tail gaits, changes lanes rudely, always in a rush to get somewhere ...
yes they pass me at first....they get that head start but they reach a stop light somewhere up head
I reach them and unlike them I actually saw the beauty in the trip.
Its funny...It seems life comes to me sometimes... I am not really searching ... I stumble into
new adventures that lead me to my next route...
Its like I am a leaf carried by the push of the wind in a serendipitous like motion ....
Right now Its a pretty summers day...no breeze and I am just taking it all in.
But fall is fast approaching and that breeze will come...
blowing me down one of those paths... In the way nature attended it to...
Naturally, not rushed....fitting into place, taking me, and landing me into a
spot right where I am supposed to go and right where I am meant to be.
yes I may be slow but sometimes the "slow and steady win the race" :)
-Amy Kredo
8/19/09