Testing a Theory
The "video" is a recording of myself reading the poem, with the still illustration, which was printed in the "Daily Mail" newspaper when they published the poem.
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Take a group of chimpanzees
used to swinging through the trees,
and sit them down at keyboards in a row;
lots of paper, lots of ink,
lots and lots of time, I think,
and what the theory says I’m sure you know.
Yes, along with all the junk,
all the gibberish and bunk,
somewhere there’d be the full works of the Bard:
As You Like It, Cymbeline,
Richards 2 and 3, the Dream,
though Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, might be hard.
But I’m sure the little blighters
would get on fine with Titus
Andronicus , The Taming of the Shrew,
The Moor of Venice (that’s Othello),
the other Merchant fellow,
and Antony and Cleopatra too.
The Winter’s Tale would hold no terrors,
nor The Comedy of Errors,
and Verona’s Gentlemen would turn out right;
Love’s Labour might be Lost,
or it might be Tempest-tossed,
but All’s Well That Ends Well, even on Twelfth Night.
Lear, King John, and Much Ado,
Henry 4, parts 1 and 2,
Henry 5, and 6 (in three parts), Henry 8,
Troilus, Timon, Measure for Measure,
Pericles (a neglected treasure)
and how Romeo and Juliet met their fate;
all the Sonnets, and the Rape
of Lucrece (typed by an ape!)
and if they worked for ever and a day
they could fit in Julius Caesar,
that Coriolanus geezer,
the Wives of Windsor, and the Scottish play.
I grew more and more excited –
even thought I might be knighted
if I could be the one to make it work.
But to realise my dream
I had to try a pilot scheme,
to prove I wasn’t just a reckless berk.
I bought one chimp from the zoo -
didn't have the cash for two -
and gave him a typewriter, just to try
for a short while. Well, a fortnight
was the time-scale that I thought right.
You see, I’m quite an optimistic guy.
Now everyone who heard
of my project said, “Absurd!”
when I told them of my striking new departure.
“Teach a chimpanzee to type?
“Why, I never heard such tripe!”
Still … he did produce the works of Jeffrey Archer.
This is such a lighthearted and fun read. What an accomplishment to weave all those wonderful classics throughout. The ending is perfect! Had to look up Archer though. We have enough guys like him in the USA that news of that type from across the seas does not always register with me.
Ah, doubtless layers of significant depth have presently eluded me in the blythe perusal of this delightful explanation of your profile pic. I love to laugh, and this, besides overflowing with wit and that bard's famous pieces, rollicking in rhyme, was too amusing. It's too clever and wee me loves it!
This is such a hoot. (I won't even mention how jealous I am at not thinking of something like this before!)
From the rhyme and meter, to the sheer volume of plays adeptly woven into the lines, to the hilarious punch line - I love this poem!
Comical and philosophical at the same time! The rhyme scheme is so cool. Love it.
This piece is truly amazing. I love how you have it paired with the video. I agree with Susan... how you managed to incorporate so many famous reads (and with such poetic ease) is a mystery!