It's a strange tale of summer love gone awry, here lamented. Once again beginning as a promising first two lines, frustratingly, I can't quite get the rest to follow smoothly; here 'tis, for the present.....
Cupid Left with Randy
(sonnet attempt #XLVII)
XLVII
So fun walked out the door when Randy left,
And Cupid's never showed his face here since.
For all attempts to bring love back evince
His place can't anymore be found here, reft
Completely clean, replaced by trash; the cleft's
Not heart-shaped either, but a charming Prince
Found elsewhere Cupid's arrows might convince.
Absconded here, now hope's well-nigh bereft.
He was the captain of this ship: the days
Were merry; country music sweetly crooned
Two summers quite away; intrigue did play
Like swirling mist their fringes round. Too soon
It ended, hope quite sunk. His music stays
But fun and love left with him. Ship's marooned.
09/12Mar11
It was an excellent beginning and there is some promise in the rest. Don't give up on this one just yet. did you see that someone posted a shakespearian sonnet- you are starting a trend
Your heart comes through in each line of this fine verse - - sonnets happen in time - but this is yourself and I applaud the honesty and expressive phrasing. Well done.