© RH Peat — 2/7/2011 — 3:27pm
Form 4 tercets & 1 monostich.— 13 lines. Free verse
rhyme Scheme: aaa, bbb, ccc, dddd
Metaphor: The expense of the knowing.
In Lament: With No Remorse
In Lament: With No Remorse
Singed wings are on this flitting angel,
she dances within a smoky-sparkle
inside appointment’s festive crinkle.
She is too close, in too close—hushed
far, too close— whereby fire’s blushed,
torchlight she is so quickly touched.
The heated lamp leaves its mark.
And there the butterfly inside the dark
finds the burning caress of spark.
The candle’s wick has changed —
fleeting innocence’s lost name.
So with fiery scar her wings remain
to be that memory tied to a flame.
© RH Peat — 2/7/2011 —
Pendemic
This is an awe inspiring write, the message clearly portrayed. Your poetic discipline produced an amazing piece.
This is an awe inspiring write, the message clearly portrayed. Your poetic discipline produced an amazing piece.
TinaD
I guess I am a poor polak...had to have him explain this poem to me.....duh!
I guess I am a poor polak...had to have him explain this poem to me.....duh!
tenderpoison
this is beautiful RH - sad, but beautifully written. those memories burn if we hold them too tight. :)
this is beautiful RH - sad, but beautifully written. those memories burn if we hold them too tight. :)
Aria
I must admit, the free verse with the rhyme threw me off a bit....at first. Now, I’ve read through several times and realize the rhythm of the piece adds to the whole feel of the singed wings... A poignant poem of one who got burned.
I must admit, the free verse with the rhyme threw me off a bit....at first. Now, I’ve read through several times and realize the rhythm of the piece adds to the whole feel of the singed wings... A poignant poem of one who got burned.
the poem is beautiful indeed sir.. but you explain the exact meaning of the first two paragraphs.. so that the poem becomes unforgettable for me..