This is much different than anything else I have posted, but I just ran across it buried in my folder of poetry. It's my first (and thus far only) attempt at a Pantoum poem. Hope the subject matter doesn't offend. I remember writing it after an episode of CSI.
Serial killer (A Pantoum)
hiding silently in the bushes
a mad man awaits his prey
mind unstable, knife in hand
his heart pounds in his chest
a mad man awaits his prey
his eyes scan the darkness
his heart pounds in his chest
is someone walking near?
his eyes scan the darkness
he becomes alert and tense
is someone walking near?
it's almost time to strike
he becomes alert and tense
his muscles begin to ache
it's almost time to strike
just a little closer now
his muscles begin to ache
now he sees his prey
just a little closer now
frenzy takes over his mind
now he sees his prey
the end is moments away
frenzy takes over his mind
strike hard strike fast strike now
the end is moments away
the victim never knew
strike hard strike fast strike now
all he sees is blood
the victim never knew
mind unstable, knife in hand
all he sees is blood
hiding silently in the bushes
copyright 2008
you build up the tension well. Serial killers fascinate me I study every case history in my attempt to understand what triggers them off
This is so intense. It does remind me of a scene from a movie or something; the way they allow the camera to zero in on just one particular scene playing out.
This is an excellently written pantoum poem, t-girl, and a very mature and vivid write as well. Your imagery in this poem is quite exceptional and your well chosen words brought it to life before the reader's eyes! Carl.