Careless
Careless call me, for I'd lost, the dream that kept my smile.
Beaten by the shattered hopes, that littered every mile.
Slower still the footsteps tread, from youths immortal pose.
Grasping still but holding just, the thorns that shield the rose.
Linda Ori
Very nice meter and rhyme - one of my favorite poetic styles. You have a lovely sense of expression that makes its impact without overly dramatizing. Nicely done!
Very nice meter and rhyme - one of my favorite poetic styles. You have a lovely sense of expression that makes its impact without overly dramatizing. Nicely done!
MoonBee
Spoken like a Knight, declaring softly the triumph in the battle-lines of life ... this is such a poignant picture you've painted of one who trudges onward (even tho' the smile might be lost and the hopes less visible) Still you wage the war, baring even scars from thorns - Sir Laurie, you wield the rose ... MoonBee
Spoken like a Knight, declaring softly the triumph in the battle-lines of life ... this is such a poignant picture you've painted of one who trudges onward (even tho' the smile might be lost and the hopes less visible) Still you wage the war, baring even scars from thorns - Sir Laurie, you wield the rose ... MoonBee
robyn selters
Excellent... superbly crafted and satisfying
Excellent... superbly crafted and satisfying
Fay Slimm
Adeptly crafted verse in form and content - - a classic feel to this piece Laurie.
Adeptly crafted verse in form and content - - a classic feel to this piece Laurie.
This one becomes a favorite, as all of yours are in my heart.