A Soldier's Love Note
I'm leaving soon, I'm going
I'm heading overseas
I'm going to stand for what we believe
Please save your love for me
I'm traveling now, I'm on my way
Getting closer to our destiny
I'm going to fight for our rights
Please save your love for me
We've landed, we are there
This land of catastrophe
We'll get orders to fight soon
Please save your love for me
It's battle day, we're in the fight
And hell is all I see
The fighting's thick, death all around
Please save your love for me
Night has come, it's all dark
We wear goggles so we can see
The fighting's stopped, a moments rest
Please save your love for me
Tis now the dawn and light of day
Woke up to a bomb blast by my tree
Not sure if we'll survive
Please save your love for me
I'm sorry to say, your love is gone
I'm from his company
I found this note meant for you
He gave his life for thee
I'm a sucker for soldier poems and this one reminded me of the "The Charge of the Light Brigade". You've woven a touching story into these beautiful lines. I'd like to share this one with my family. TFS
Oh my...this brought tears...its so beautifully penned~a sad shocking end..my love went into the army last week..I think this is absolutely beautiful~tender write..
Beautifully bold, I loved the ancient tongue in this ah :) S
Such beautiful writing and so very sad. The refrain draws this poem together so well and the turn in the last stanza makes for excellent poetry.
i once write in a poem that "The echoes of love resonate louder than that of a grenade" and your poem is quite the example of this. Although our narrator is in the midst of war his mind stays with his love. And your use of the imagery of battle to portray the narrator fading away and nearing death was beautiful. amazing poem..
A very touching and deeply sad poem. Very Nice Job! Ken
A beautiful poem - with a touching refrain..."Please save your love for me" - the ending is indeed really surprising for the reader - I agree with all this is a great poem Pendemic
You place the reader right in the scene with this dynamic piece of sad narrative - - last line is the surprise..... the feel of this will remain... Fay
The burning question is why
Beautiful and so true for the service of the soldiers, and those left behind. Reminds me of Peter. It appears that you put yourself in that place of writing. Great!
This is beautifully written. I love the structure that is suddenly broken with his death. So melancholic and depressing - brings tears to the eyes.
an energetic poem that conveys a great deal about the pain of many families and soldiers...
that was a good write, in my family we can relate to this poem,even if the reason this country fights wars is pure politics..The human element to always be loved is so strong, that even in death we still want our loved ones to know.. 10
This is a quite vivid and very expressive write, Pendemic, and I liked the repetition of that great line, "Please save your love for me." As soon as I read your first verse, I knew the ending was inevitable. Carl.
Oh my word! That concluding stanza is a poignant killer! The entire piece is very sweetly done, excellently crafted, and perfectly bittersweetly finished. Initially seemingly simplistic, but so loaded and so perfectly depicted. I like it.....but I hate the crushing ending...perfect though it is.