“Entranced”
Alone she sits
Under the branches
Of her own thoughtlessness
Singing a song
About the calmness
Of his weary heart
Before the clouds of care
Darken his little world
The lights from her
Glistening tears
Swim dim
Before his sight
But he still
Can hear her song
And the faint strain
Of that tune
Has taken him away
Into the sanctum
Of her assured spirit
Then he becomes the one
Who loves her
He becomes the one
Entranced !
Written on the night of the 7th of September,2010
©Munia Khan 2010
Ben Gieske
Intriguing pictures. Not only your first three lines might be morphed into a senryu but these also present a possibility. The lights from her Glistening tears Swim dim Before his sight
Intriguing pictures. Not only your first three lines might be morphed into a senryu but these also present a possibility. The lights from her Glistening tears Swim dim Before his sight
erik99
I agree with Alison about the first three lines, and would go so far as to say that they would make a beautiful short poem on their own, in the style of a senryu (but without the syllable counting).
I agree with Alison about the first three lines, and would go so far as to say that they would make a beautiful short poem on their own, in the style of a senryu (but without the syllable counting).
BlackHearted-Bard
Agree with Alison, very dreamlike, like the gentle fizzle of sea foam. Well done, as usual!!!
Agree with Alison, very dreamlike, like the gentle fizzle of sea foam. Well done, as usual!!!
Alison Cassidy
This has the dreamlike quality of one who yearns and in the yearning achieves her heart's desire. I particularly love the first three lines: 'She sits under the branches of her own thoughtlessness.' Magical verse. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
This has the dreamlike quality of one who yearns and in the yearning achieves her heart's desire. I particularly love the first three lines: 'She sits under the branches of her own thoughtlessness.' Magical verse. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Susan Jarvis
A beguiling and mesmeric poem with a seamless twist. I love it! :)
A beguiling and mesmeric poem with a seamless twist. I love it! :)
robyn selters
wonderful flow, seamless, entrancing
wonderful flow, seamless, entrancing
Shashendra Amalshan
I feel as if I am entranced lol.. This really is great Munia, very touching and soothing to the heart. The note in which you end the poem is perfect. lovely to read.
I feel as if I am entranced lol.. This really is great Munia, very touching and soothing to the heart. The note in which you end the poem is perfect. lovely to read.
Leslie Alexis
lovely lady, lovely
lovely lady, lovely
Liliana Negoi
this is absolutely beautiful!
this is absolutely beautiful!
Sana Rose
Enchanting verse, Munia... The metaphors are beautiful..
Enchanting verse, Munia... The metaphors are beautiful..
Philip
I too ,am amazed at your talent in one so young, Munia ,you are a Poetess beyond your years. Well Done !!
I too ,am amazed at your talent in one so young, Munia ,you are a Poetess beyond your years. Well Done !!
Frank James Ryan Jr./FjR
Young lady, you continue to impress with your diversified styles of written elocution, and the above is a textbook sample of that statement, missy!Like the employment of single-spacing here...lends effect, to a work constructed on short-cropt phrasage...Well Done,Munia,indeed! ~FjR~
Young lady, you continue to impress with your diversified styles of written elocution, and the above is a textbook sample of that statement, missy!Like the employment of single-spacing here...lends effect, to a work constructed on short-cropt phrasage...Well Done,Munia,indeed! ~FjR~
yelena
Munia, I am captivated, mesmerised and surely entranced by this piece. You always amaze me with your poetry:)
Munia, I am captivated, mesmerised and surely entranced by this piece. You always amaze me with your poetry:)
Dorothy A. Holmes apwlts2
Isn't it wonderful to be someone's adored one! Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Isn't it wonderful to be someone's adored one! Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Patrick McFarland
Your poems have such a beautiful, dreamlike quality to them Munia, and this is no exception. Excellent!
Your poems have such a beautiful, dreamlike quality to them Munia, and this is no exception. Excellent!
Karin Anderson
Spellbinding Munia ... You have the innate ability to unfold and space your poems to entrance the reader, as you have done for me. A special and very beautiful poem...
Spellbinding Munia ... You have the innate ability to unfold and space your poems to entrance the reader, as you have done for me. A special and very beautiful poem...
vijay menon
Munia good work indeed
Munia good work indeed
sridevi
Munia....you out do yourself every time...this left me breathless...and wanting more :)Cheers!!!
Munia....you out do yourself every time...this left me breathless...and wanting more :)Cheers!!!
john o'connell
MARVELLOUS STUFF! TFS.. TAKE CARE, JOHN
MARVELLOUS STUFF! TFS.. TAKE CARE, JOHN
another one so good