Stay!
I’m walking away
from him and the wall;
the calcite heart
and bleached bones
of The End of the Road.
I’ve clawed
at crumbling matrimony –
those flashes of fevered lips
and that bitch’s hips
in our sweat-drenched bed.
I’ve torn at ossified lies
‘til nails and fingers are shreds
and my love has bled
and congealed in his eyes.
Yet I still smell her lust on his skin
and taste her brazen name
on his breath
like death.
I look back
and his gaze lifts me
beyond the wall.
I’d imagined a necropolis
with the carcass of us rotting
beneath mud-clotted dreams –
the remains of our pledge
churning through
glutinous worms...
instead, our shadows dance
in the fluorescent kiss
of the moon.
Dorothy A. Holmes apwlts2
A Yes Poem! So real in the passion of betrayal...the kind of poem that helps you to keep your sanity while turning around and around in between the hurt...and the reason I wrote "My Heart Has Empty Rooms!"...Staying strong through poetry...Oh now I see I comment of this poem earlier ...hope you don't mind. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
A Yes Poem! So real in the passion of betrayal...the kind of poem that helps you to keep your sanity while turning around and around in between the hurt...and the reason I wrote "My Heart Has Empty Rooms!"...Staying strong through poetry...Oh now I see I comment of this poem earlier ...hope you don't mind. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
robyn selters
Wow! No-one writes like you... How you make exquisite beauty rise from the ashes of almost unspeakable pain... superb is an understatement
Wow! No-one writes like you... How you make exquisite beauty rise from the ashes of almost unspeakable pain... superb is an understatement
nimal dunuhinga
Yes, definitely stay to look twice your Masterpiece!
Yes, definitely stay to look twice your Masterpiece!
Dorothy A. Holmes apwlts2
Here I am again moving around in the splendor of this poem. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Here I am again moving around in the splendor of this poem. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Ken e Hall
Excellent poem on loves pitfalls ending in shadows beneath mud-clotted dreams.....Dopamine that body chemical that gives our trust to give ourselves to another is no guarantee that 'another' is genuine in love, regards
Excellent poem on loves pitfalls ending in shadows beneath mud-clotted dreams.....Dopamine that body chemical that gives our trust to give ourselves to another is no guarantee that 'another' is genuine in love, regards
Dorothy A. Holmes apwlts2
Like a scream in the night...a plea/pledge for freedom...well done and to be celebrated...You have spit out the bile taste of love betrayed...A Fine Kind of Freedom and for a while, turn your back on the moon. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Like a scream in the night...a plea/pledge for freedom...well done and to be celebrated...You have spit out the bile taste of love betrayed...A Fine Kind of Freedom and for a while, turn your back on the moon. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Bob Blackwell
Some memories are hard to forget. A very powerful poem with vivid images of jealousy, loss, anger and perhaps sustaining love.
Some memories are hard to forget. A very powerful poem with vivid images of jealousy, loss, anger and perhaps sustaining love.
erik99
A very powerful and moving poem, one of your best. Knowing your ability to imagine yourself into a persona, I can only assume (and hope) that this is an imaginary situation, which you have expressed perfectly. If it were a real situation (and I'm NOT asking you to say!) this would be a valuable part of the healing process. The vocabulary, and the language in general, are just right for the emotions you convey, and the surprisingly tender ending is a total delight.
A very powerful and moving poem, one of your best. Knowing your ability to imagine yourself into a persona, I can only assume (and hope) that this is an imaginary situation, which you have expressed perfectly. If it were a real situation (and I'm NOT asking you to say!) this would be a valuable part of the healing process. The vocabulary, and the language in general, are just right for the emotions you convey, and the surprisingly tender ending is a total delight.
Lillian Susan Thomas
Your approach and conclusion are so fresh and startling in imagery, (esp on a subject that many poets have given voice to), that the only word for this poem is masterful! no one I have read has ever turned back to look at the former lover with such a passionate glance after such betrayal. Most often we destroy all former good feelings in trying to extricate the person from our hearts, deny all love and good in the relationship to be able to leave. Thank you so much Susan for sharing.
Your approach and conclusion are so fresh and startling in imagery, (esp on a subject that many poets have given voice to), that the only word for this poem is masterful! no one I have read has ever turned back to look at the former lover with such a passionate glance after such betrayal. Most often we destroy all former good feelings in trying to extricate the person from our hearts, deny all love and good in the relationship to be able to leave. Thank you so much Susan for sharing.
ShyWolf
Dark pain etched throughout, embroidered in anger then the ending - what can I say- just excellent
Dark pain etched throughout, embroidered in anger then the ending - what can I say- just excellent
robertchoward
Wow, what a tough poem and so well written! When vulnerability, trust and respect cease to be mutual, who can keep the anger away?
Wow, what a tough poem and so well written! When vulnerability, trust and respect cease to be mutual, who can keep the anger away?
rema renjini nair
i dont think a comment from me will do justice this is poetry classisc ... thank you sur you are awesome.
i dont think a comment from me will do justice this is poetry classisc ... thank you sur you are awesome.
Fool
Wonderful. So emotive. And 'sensual'? 'the remains of our pledge churning through glutinous worms'... wow!
Wonderful. So emotive. And 'sensual'? 'the remains of our pledge churning through glutinous worms'... wow!
Kate Sparrow
Ohhhh! So very GOOD! I can feel the bitterness in every verse! And the ending! Just breathtaking. I love this one!
Ohhhh! So very GOOD! I can feel the bitterness in every verse! And the ending! Just breathtaking. I love this one!
Munia Khan
Wow !! Susan !! This one is just mind blowing ...Oh GOD !! I love it so much..every single line here is hauntingly superb..Another fabulous work for us you have composed.We owe you not only the moon but the entire universe:-)
Wow !! Susan !! This one is just mind blowing ...Oh GOD !! I love it so much..every single line here is hauntingly superb..Another fabulous work for us you have composed.We owe you not only the moon but the entire universe:-)
Karin Anderson
Deep and dark Susan and your excellent vocabularly gives a betrayal like no other. The second stanza is so amazingly morbid and my favorite!
Deep and dark Susan and your excellent vocabularly gives a betrayal like no other. The second stanza is so amazingly morbid and my favorite!
Frank Lambert
There's a dark gothic feel to this one in places and I just love shadows when they dance. A fine verse.
There's a dark gothic feel to this one in places and I just love shadows when they dance. A fine verse.
sridevi
So very beautiful and touching ...it goes straight to the heart :))
So very beautiful and touching ...it goes straight to the heart :))
york2frisco
The righteous indignation and the resulting pain of the transgression, clearly ( and beautifully ) stated, receives relief in the last stanza. The essence of mutual love shines through.
The righteous indignation and the resulting pain of the transgression, clearly ( and beautifully ) stated, receives relief in the last stanza. The essence of mutual love shines through.
Mike
I can't even imagine the pain that came from this betrayal... the last stanza has me reeling in the devastating consequences of this unthinking act... You've shown the consequences in a stark and heartrending way...
I can't even imagine the pain that came from this betrayal... the last stanza has me reeling in the devastating consequences of this unthinking act... You've shown the consequences in a stark and heartrending way...
Ernestine Northover
Gee!!! This is a whopper of a write. Excellent penning.
Gee!!! This is a whopper of a write. Excellent penning.
Kerry O'Connor
Wow, Susan, I've been away for a week and this is the first poem I've read. It's blown me right out of the water. I know exactly where you are coming from - every line bristles with betrayal and loss. Excellent work.
Wow, Susan, I've been away for a week and this is the first poem I've read. It's blown me right out of the water. I know exactly where you are coming from - every line bristles with betrayal and loss. Excellent work.
Scarlett Angel
heart wrenchingly beautiful Susan.
heart wrenchingly beautiful Susan.
Sandra Martyres
A very emotional piece with some gems in terms of imagery...."Itorn at ossified lies": " rotting beneath sepia dreams" and " churning through glutinous worms" are only a few of them...Bookmarked ofcourse
A very emotional piece with some gems in terms of imagery...."Itorn at ossified lies": " rotting beneath sepia dreams" and " churning through glutinous worms" are only a few of them...Bookmarked ofcourse
Shashendra Amalshan
This is bit different from your other works Susan. But still it captures the reader's heart and keep them interested till the very end. Loved this one too. This shows your versatility as a writer..
This is bit different from your other works Susan. But still it captures the reader's heart and keep them interested till the very end. Loved this one too. This shows your versatility as a writer..
wojja fink
that is on helluva poem, so to speak.
that is on helluva poem, so to speak.
Fay Slimm
One of the most moving verses I have ever read....... Bookmarked.
One of the most moving verses I have ever read....... Bookmarked.
The unexpected contrast of the beautiful haiku like love poem that is the last stanza with the raw savagery of metaphorical expressions of resignation, anger and despair in the first three stanzas is what makes this such a brilliant poem in my opinion. Just stunning, Susan. I have to recommend this.