I tend to fool around with my poems a lot after that first "spill" is out heh.
reed song (rewrite)
I have been bent between wanting
To touch you through your ribs
As I learn the steps on the stairs to your sky
And wanting to close myself off into a vast cage
Where I can circle the bind of my own firmament.
(I am sorry I do not always pick up your calls.)
And so I deserve this loneliness that
Plays its tune through me
Lovelily and lovelessly
Like wind through a shrill
thin reed.
Lillian Susan Thomas
I agree with erik99, the lines he liked the most also jumped out at me. even with the misspells, these are great images.
I agree with erik99, the lines he liked the most also jumped out at me. even with the misspells, these are great images.
erik99
All good poets tinker with their own work until they are happy with it. Sometimes that comes quickly, sometimes the moment of "completion" never arrives. I just love the words here (loneliness / lovelily / lovelessly; "wind through a shrill thin reed"; "I learn the steps on the stairs to your sky"). I also love the fact that I don't quite understand what this is "about", which gives it a whole series of echoes I can relate to.
All good poets tinker with their own work until they are happy with it. Sometimes that comes quickly, sometimes the moment of "completion" never arrives. I just love the words here (loneliness / lovelily / lovelessly; "wind through a shrill thin reed"; "I learn the steps on the stairs to your sky"). I also love the fact that I don't quite understand what this is "about", which gives it a whole series of echoes I can relate to.
a_start
Hey my poetry may be consumed sober too. ;) Love ya !
Hey my poetry may be consumed sober too. ;) Love ya !
Writer
I'm torn. I like both.... could be the alkie though :)
I'm torn. I like both.... could be the alkie though :)
Hi Lillian, thanks for the comment. Do let me know which misspells I have, sometimes they can stare me in the face and I don't notice them!