The Profundity of Rotundity
She told me that rotundity was destiny,
that voluptuous DNA was in her genes;
I thought as much when I saw the stitches straining
at the denim stretched along her bursting seams.
Her scales bewailed the dangers of obesity;
they creaked their warning 'neath her woeful weight,
as denial basked in bulging folds of nudity
boasting, "Big bones are my Botticellian fate!"
She delighted in her nightly dates with Dinner;
a winner in the can't-get-thinner stakes,
slaking pangs and aches with treats to fill her
hungry heart with lard-eveloped quakes.
"Charge my fizz-free glass and pass the crudités!"
were demands oft dribbled from her drooling lips.
Each canapé - cruel calories 'neath a canopy
of a dress that hid her far-from-slinky hips.
She always said that ample spelled frivolity
though jollity rarely rapped upon fat's door,
and her inner, slimmer, pre-dinner jocundity
died locked within the curse of see-food* lore.
The moral of this tale is 'less is more', they say,
But 'Rubenesque is best!' her voice still cries
in ghostly groans that bemoan it was the DNA
crammed into jeans that should've been a bigger size.
*this alludes to the infamous Seafood Diet - the more you see, the more you eat
Wonderfully politically incorrect.
Before and after "morbid obesity" was declared? Poor gal. If only eating might be indulged in sans the calories, at least passion seems to wish it. This is the first I've seen this and it is superb, laden with delicious imagery amply expressing the lass' dilemma. Marvelous and delightfully imaginative tribute to that disgusting condition. Now if only cukes were as tasty as chocolate.
I am so pleased you restored this poem too. I can remember having a great laugh and thinking how clever and original your poetry is especially this one Susan!
Beautiful and perfect.... Also just downright funny! You always amaze!!! x
A gluttony of a delightful work Susan.Excellent! Love it so much
ha ha , big is not always best
Voluptuousness was a virtue once. But blubber never was nor will be
Thanks for restoring this gem of a write Susan..I too recall some of the delightful lines.. This one carries a lesson as Fay says.... Avoid the see food diet!!
Nice to see you plump for well rounded phrases in this wonderful piece bulging with great rhyme and flow.
You have restored it so well I can remember the phrases - - a great big round of applause for this re-post on a much needed mantra of "less is more".
I like curvaceous women but there are limits