Transparency.
A brief splinter of light splashes the lattice.
Insubstantial, the wick flickers out too fast.
Dark scratches transparency over my fate.
Though feeling love's wilderness still I wait.
How distant the whistle of non-stop trains.
Silence listens while sad memory remains.
Your jacket sits creased in my window-seat.
I watch, being wary, as the past is repeated.
Kesav V Easwaran
Beautiful verbal pictures, Fay...liked the penultimate couplet lines the most...touching presentation of grieving a loss...recommended
Beautiful verbal pictures, Fay...liked the penultimate couplet lines the most...touching presentation of grieving a loss...recommended
robyn selters
Wow! I'm left with that sad, yearning sense for the loss so beautifully expressed in this elegant, tenderly wistful poem... glorious metaphors... 'dark scratches transparency over my fate...'
Wow! I'm left with that sad, yearning sense for the loss so beautifully expressed in this elegant, tenderly wistful poem... glorious metaphors... 'dark scratches transparency over my fate...'
Yacov Mitchenko
On the whole, a very nice piece about missing a loved one. Simple and evocative. "Dark scratches transparency over my fate" is an interesting expression. It seems to suggest that what clarity there is exacerbates the pain of the loved one's absence. My favorite line, though, is "How distant the whistle of non-stop trains". That's a beautiful.
On the whole, a very nice piece about missing a loved one. Simple and evocative. "Dark scratches transparency over my fate" is an interesting expression. It seems to suggest that what clarity there is exacerbates the pain of the loved one's absence. My favorite line, though, is "How distant the whistle of non-stop trains". That's a beautiful.
stevenstirk
I finely crafted piece Fay. The poetry blends seamlessly with the picture.
I finely crafted piece Fay. The poetry blends seamlessly with the picture.
leafsailor
this is the first poem that totally amazed me to day,,,peace
this is the first poem that totally amazed me to day,,,peace
tom balch
This is a fine piece indeed, Fay. Love the couplet form.
This is a fine piece indeed, Fay. Love the couplet form.
carol
the past is repeated really great fay
the past is repeated really great fay
Ata
I love last lines ,tfs
I love last lines ,tfs
thepalelotus
This is such a lovely write. :)
This is such a lovely write. :)
magnolia
This brought goose bumps to my skin Fay..waiting and watching warily..Maggie
This brought goose bumps to my skin Fay..waiting and watching warily..Maggie
nimal dunuhinga
'You use your tongue to talk' Your jacket sits creased in my window-seat. Really transparent!
'You use your tongue to talk' Your jacket sits creased in my window-seat. Really transparent!
heather wilkins
beautiful words Fay. Your jacket sits in my window-seat. I watch being wary, as the past is repeated. love these words.
beautiful words Fay. Your jacket sits in my window-seat. I watch being wary, as the past is repeated. love these words.
Sandra Martyres
Dark scratches a transparency on my fate. Though feeling love's wilderness still I wait. A wistful piece Fay...well written
Dark scratches a transparency on my fate. Though feeling love's wilderness still I wait. A wistful piece Fay...well written
the loss is brought out so well...good imagery