The Road to Perdition
I walked up to the pearly gates
and rang the golden bell
Saint Peter popped his head out
and he gave a hearty yell
He said 'what are you doing here
you're supposed to be alive?'
I said 'I blew my brains out
with a magnum 45'
'In that case I can't let you in'
Saint Peter sadly said
'You've got to take the
dark road to that other place instead'
I thanked him for his kindness
and he sent me on my way
I turned onto that evil road
and slowly walked away
The path was long and winding
and the scenery was bare
It reminded me of Kansas
when Dorothy lived there
I seemed to walk for hours
but it could have been much more
Then up ahead I saw a light
behind a wooden door
A man appeared quite suddenly
from where, I do not know
He said 'my name is Lucifer
but you can call me Joe'
He led me to the wooden door
and gave a mighty shove
The thing swung open slowly
and a light shone from above
To my surprise I did not see
brimstone, flame or tar
Just a band of really happy folks
all drinking at a bar
Virginia Woolf and Hemingway
were sitting with Van Gogh
While Kurt Cobain was sipping wine
with Magdalene Kahlo
And Lenny Bruce was telling jokes
that made Cleopatra blush
And Hunter T. wrote frantically
As always, in a rush
Old Joe he only grinned at me
and slapped me on the back
'You didn't really think that
I would torture Kerouac?'
He called out to the bartender
and soon I had a brew
'I must admit" I said to him
before my beer was through
‘I expected something different
in the land of pain and dread'
Old Joe gave me a wicked smile
and this is what he said:
'Take a look around you son
and tell me what you see'
I saw ten thousand people
not including Joe and me
And suddenly it hit me like a
bolt out of the blue
'All these people left the world
before their time was due'
Joe finished up his bottle and
he tossed it in the sand
He said 'son every one of them
has died by their own hand
You see they lived their Hell on earth
on that you can't deny
They know what pain is really like
so I don't even try'
So friends I am still sitting here
it's been a year or so
Tomorrow night I've got a date
with Marilyn Monroe
We're going to see Hendrix
at the Fillmore down below
And the word is Janis Joplin
will be opening the show
And I don't believe that Heaven
could exact a higher praise
They can keep their harps and
trumpets...
I prefer my Purple Haze
I must admit, I'm a bit jealous
Amusing, witty and hilarious indeed sir, considering one could Marlyn Monroe on the other side, this could even encourage people to commit suicide, why shouldn’t they I mean? Specially, considering that they can meet such cool people on the other side.. (Winks) I like this one a lot, the humour is bit dark and yet very lighthearted at the same time. The story holds the interest of the reader till the very end. It gets better as you go on…. “Lenny Bruce was telling jokes that made Cleopatra blush”- the favorite part lol Enjoyed and recommended!!
Wonderful!! "Wonder-Full"!!!! For some 'wicked' reason, this reader was left feeling uplifted! A terrific poem, Patrick that deserves all the praise it has received. Happy days.....Jerry (*_*)
I Thank you for my mama who surely did her time and for my heroes who gave us so much despite the darker times they knew The thing reminds me of wickedly cool music that will not be sullen
I love this one, im working on memorizing it so I can recite it on cue. Good stuff. Its bad ass poetry if I may say.
This was amazing Patrick. So glad Kath led me to your page or I would have missed your great poems. I will be reading more very soon and thank you for sharing.... Pat
Patrick, this is excellent work. - but keep the 45 unloaded. We have more need of you here.
My Wife loves this poem to ! Now that is praise indeed !
Do you realise how great this poem is? One of the best that I have read this month. Wish I had written it !!! Respect Philip
wonderfull
Brilliant!
This just got better and better as I read through
One mans heaven is another mans hell Since the Hilton group took hell over it has become the favoiured destination
And I don't believe that Heaven could exact a higher praise They can keep their harps and trumpets... You have experienced a lot!
Clever funny and the poem keeps the reader reading till the end with a smile ...well done ...regards
Well done. An enjoyable tale of humor and compassion that flowed so sweetly I hated to see it end. Good luck with that date ... word has it she can be difficult.
Excellent work Patrick. Imaginative subject and the development of this story poem is first rate. I love the conclusion!. Recommended.
So many brilliant poems goes without being read, how glad I am to have found this treasure.. It has to be read again, such great words needs to be spread, thank you for share.
Oh My! This is a heavenly verse if you don't mind me saying so...Love it! Dorothy A poet Who Loves To Sing
Ah, but you deserve the accolades for that ready wit and ability to make the old sinners' claims sparkle delightfully, humorous and too enticingly. I suppose that is why she ate of the fruit in the first place? Excellent...until the end of time and that promised demise we can't avoid.
Original, humorous, well penned.
Wooooosh! Let me say that again, only louder: WOOOOOOOSH! Awesome piece of work, Mr. Mc Farland....I can see this poem lighting up the sky, & the ocean green like a beacon shining"All along the Watchtower"....A grande display of melodious rhyme scheming verse that if composed into a song would sound so pumped channeling through the titanium-dome Bose auto-audio system in a brand spanking new 2012 "Mercedes Benz" 600S Class(Ahh...just the thought "Takes a piece of my heart away")Rock Solid Penning, my good friend.You are one "EXPERIENCED" scribe, and whatever or whoever gifted you "put a spell on you".....a damn good one. ~FjR~
Patrick - What can I say? WOW! The narrative is amazing, and the focus is brilliant...As Chaos1214 says, this is a masterpiece.
Brilliant ! Loved every line...Maggie :))
This is one brilliant write..... recommended
Ha ha... Who'da thought the devil was an expert in human psychology... On second thought, that would have to be his number one skill, wouldn't it... ha ha... A masterpiece, Mr. P! : D
Brilliant writing Patrick - you had me enthralled righ to the end.
Ow! So, folks can blow their brains out and still go to heaven- a much merrier heaven than st. Peter's Gate. This very revealing. Great lyrical flow. The rhyme scheme worked very well. Nice, nice poem.