Letter to Shakespeare
Private message to: "bardofavon"
Dear William,
I hope you don't mind my messaging you in this way, but I feel your work has so many qualities, it is a pity to spoil it by a lack of attention to detail. I am sure you realise, for instance, that an iambic foot has a weak syllable followed by a strong one (as in "beFORE"), and that an iambic pentameter line has five of these iambs, i.e., ten syllables. How unfortunate then that so many of your otherwise excellent lines have eleven syllables. For example -
"To be / or not / to be,/ that is the / question."
which you will notice I have divided into its component feet, to illustrate another point, as it contains
iamb / iamb / iamb/ anapest / trochee.
"Good night,/ good night./ Parting is / such sweet / sorrow"
also contains 11 syllables, and has -
iamb / iamb / anapest / spondee / trochee
rather than the requisite five iambs.
Turning to the question of rhyme, we find the following example -
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May
and summer's lease hath all too short a date."
If you consider this carefully, you must surely agree that "date" does not truly rhyme with "temperate." It is what we call a "half-rhyme" at best. On the positive side, though, you have managed to keep to 10-syllable lines here, and (more or less) to iambic metre, though "temperate" is an anapest. Perhaps you could think about changing the word here, to avoid two problems.
I could quote more examples, but don't wish to discourage you, and I wish you good luck in your future efforts, which you may with proper guidance be able to make more correct.
Ah. If only William could perfect form and rhyme maybe his work would endure. LOL Very amusing, and the point of poetry not being a mere matter of verbal mechanics is well made.
Earth Quake has just begun in the English village of Stratford as this work has been recited at the chancel of Holy Trinity Church.Erik I'd like to remind you of what Shakespeare himself supposedly wrote on his Epitaph -Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare, To dig the dust enclosed here. Blessed be the man that spares these stones, And cursed be he that moves my bones !lol Still he will surely praise this brilliant work of yours;)
Hilarious!
Yes dear friend I think you are right, perfection in rhyme and rhythm moves us not an inch, if heart is not involved to share the least a smallest hint. Lovely lesson, thank you !
methinks, had S. followed the rules strictly, he wouldn't be equally admired today as he is :) rules are the mere skeleton of things - it's up to us to shape what covers them :)
Yes, plus he should also not take credit for other people's works! Go write your own poems, Will! Great idea of a Letter, Erik - highly original, highly imaginative and how much truth there is in your Letter.
What an erudite and engaging letter, full of compassion for the sonneteer who doesn't make 'mistakes' but allows room within the constraints of such a tight form for poetic genius to shine... you've cheered my day. :)
Very interesting and informative. Perhaps he should have called his poems 'almost sonnets'. Certainly he would have been mistaken to call a trochee or anapest an iamb. Perhaps he was confused? lol. Now I just have to go away and look up anapest and trochee (which sound like places you might go on holiday). :) kath xxxxxxxxxxx
i love it. goes to show that "correctness" & form can't make or break a poem's appeal or longevity. it's something *other* that turns words into soul-speak. i do admire poets who are able to write in traditional & new structures- & i enjoy reading beautifully crafted poems. But it's an emotional thwack, or clever twist that really makes a poem for me.
This comes as a great relief to me. Now I need not feel I am an ignoramus when it comes to writing poetry. As Jean Cocteau has rightly said: "A true poet does not bother to be poetical. Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses." To me whatever comes straight from the heart is poetry.
There is a place for classical poetry and music as well as jazz. I was not referring to"free verse," but to the true tradition of iambic pentameter, where not every syllable or foot or rhyme has to be perfectly regular, so that the minor changes give variety to the lines. My point was not to show that Shakespeare "made mistakes" but to show that his genius lay in his flexibility. Reducing poetry to a branch of mathematics, where all we do is count syllables and insist on regularity of rhythm and rhyme, is not the way for poetry to thrive.
In full agreement Friend ! Free Verse like Free Jazz gives expression to the poet's & the music composer's soul- in its unfettered flight ! Thanks for sharing, -Raj
Love it...for the quality of the information and the spirit of the delivery. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves to Sing (recommend)
An interesting piece Paul...at least I can feel less embarrased with my poetic foibles - after all Shakespeare too made mistakes!! LOL
Paul, this is absolutely brilliant, and so informative, I shall be spending the next week looking up quite a few things that you have mentioned in this wonderful write. Great format too.
Thou, dearest Maestro, art too much. That venerated Bard of Avon whose honour none dare trifle with, above reproach, thou darest to impugn thus? Er, methinks I see thy familiar diatribe against such strict devotees to that beloved form or else absolute rigidity as thou dost ever tender to me. Ah, what shall we do with thee? I suppose thou dost triumph by this? Shall I congratulate thee? Thou are yet too endearing, and alas, dost manage to be right as well. What shall I do?