The Barbecue
*The late great Paddy Martin and I had a running joke. Whichever of us left this world first would buy the beer in the great beyond. This one's for Paddy...
Sitting round the barbecue
there's Paddy, Jeff and me
Mary is on Paddy's right
as happy as can be
Kath is sitting next to Jon
while Chrissy chats with Fay
Paddy passes round the brew
on an orange, plastic tray
Someone grabs a guitar
and begins a happy song
No one knows the melody
but still we sing along
Over comes old Lucifer
his hooves are keeping time
Three hot dogs on his pitch fork
(and one of them is mine)
"I hate to break this up" he says
"the boss is on his way
And if we don't pass muster
then there will be Hell to pay
So put away that beer my friends
and hide that barbecue
Now everyone look miserable
and maybe we'll get through".
A golden light came shining in
as Jesus crossed the room
Paddy swung a pick ax
and I swept with a broom
And Lucifer he cursed at us
and cracked an evil whip
And then a half gone Fosters
went and fell from Paddy's hip.
You could have heard a pin
drop as that bottle hit the floor
Lucifer just shook his head
he knew what was in store
But Jesus Christ he grabbed
that brew and gave a wicked smile
"For an ice cold pint of Fosters
I would walk a country mile"
So the joint again was rockin’
and Jesus lead the way
He said “if it were up to me
I think that I would stay”
Then he downed another bottle
and he said ‘oh by the way,
My dad would not be cool with this
so hold your tongues, ok?"
We never let the secret slip
and all is right and well
And if you’d like to join
us at this barbecue in Hell
Then we have one simple rule
you see, that everyone abides
You can come and go eternally
but religion stays outside.
Hahahaha funny write, for a party in such a great company who wouldn't love to pass through any gate? Thank you for share, I cannot stop to laugh,love your poem!
This is one hell of a write (and party). Clever, well penned and funny.
a brilliant work, humor that grabs the reader - and though I don't drink or smoke, I'll laugh in good fun and I won't tell! Never stop another person having good fun...
And, Patrick, as i know that you know, very well....What a guy he would 'av been be to tie one on with, am I right?! Paddy and me were working on a short story series about this imaginary Irish town , 2 drunks , a clumsy horse,and a tavern where all 3 of them hung out 'til they dropped every night from fighting each other , 'til thewy both got tossed and they rode off side-saddle, on the dang clumsy horse that belonged to one of thems(Murphy) mother!We had a lot of email fun with it, Patrick. But,unfortunately, as Forrest Gump would say..."And suddenly...Just like that....he was gone....and that's all i have top say about that"! ////////Paddy would have loved this piece of yours, as I am enjoying it just fine right now ! Good to hear from you...give me a prv. message hollar when u get a chance, & let me know how your world is doin! ~Frank/FjR~
Ha ha... I'm angling for an invitation to this party. I don't care how unsubtle I have to get : D
Bet Paddy has his glass at the ready and an extra few for when we poets get there Patrick - - an hilarious scene your pen painted with this cracking verse. Thanks for the mention of me chatting with Chrissy - she is a gem of a girl who Paddy said would make it one day in this world - - and she has. A delightful read.
Wonderful.... Paddy would be laughing so loud at this, thanks Patrick
Absolutely brilliant !! Really enjoyed this fun write, Paddy would have loved it too, I´m sure.
You're welcome to join the party Patrick my friend. I'm sure you will fit right in LOL.