Tanka
“Infidelity”
(I)
One gallon of love
is equal to eight pints of
his unfaithfulness
I soak it all and become
the deceit liquidizer
(II)
Infidelity
chokes my paranoiac breath
I exhale his fibs
and force my heart to be in
solitary confinement
Written on the night of 17th August,2011
©Munia Khan 2011
robyn selters
Wow! You express this theme with incredible power and lucidity... It hurts to think of what this feels like... For most it would be as you express so well
Wow! You express this theme with incredible power and lucidity... It hurts to think of what this feels like... For most it would be as you express so well
Philip
Poor Munia, let us dry your tears by sharing this Poem with you. Behopes it brings thee good cheer. with our kind regards. from Philip
Poor Munia, let us dry your tears by sharing this Poem with you. Behopes it brings thee good cheer. with our kind regards. from Philip
Bob Blackwell
I can feel the hurt in every line.
I can feel the hurt in every line.
Dorothy A. Holmes apwlts2
Oh the pain!...Yet things that hurt instruct! Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Oh the pain!...Yet things that hurt instruct! Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
Shashendra Amalshan
I feel a woman in pain screaming through this poem. Well, the imagery is heart-wrenching and grasp the reader's mind by the throat. Very well composed tanka munia, nice to read.
I feel a woman in pain screaming through this poem. Well, the imagery is heart-wrenching and grasp the reader's mind by the throat. Very well composed tanka munia, nice to read.
Ron Peat
the weakest stone in the temple was the lie in the foundation that collapsed the sanctuary of love's sweet beauty. In the torrent of flood the building was filled with the slowness and the thickness of mud where the stench of the dead arose into the air. A power house of righteousness here. Love it. A poet friend//RH Peat
the weakest stone in the temple was the lie in the foundation that collapsed the sanctuary of love's sweet beauty. In the torrent of flood the building was filled with the slowness and the thickness of mud where the stench of the dead arose into the air. A power house of righteousness here. Love it. A poet friend//RH Peat
Jenny Gordon
Wow. Powerful and poignant! La, but you packed so very much in this succinct form, conveying the heart-ache and heart-break. Marvelous imagery! Superb and so grievous! Ah, I am so sorry you must taste it.
Wow. Powerful and poignant! La, but you packed so very much in this succinct form, conveying the heart-ache and heart-break. Marvelous imagery! Superb and so grievous! Ah, I am so sorry you must taste it.
Sana Rose
Powerfully touching... but there's a lot to infidelity and unfaithfulness than meets the eye... I can only sigh........
Powerfully touching... but there's a lot to infidelity and unfaithfulness than meets the eye... I can only sigh........
seema chowdhury
an emotional write, life is bitter and not always fair.
an emotional write, life is bitter and not always fair.
erik99
Two gallons of emotion condensed into two gems of poetic feeling.
Two gallons of emotion condensed into two gems of poetic feeling.
sonetta
a dynamic pair of tankas....!
a dynamic pair of tankas....!
Ben Gieske
I like both of these, The first one is very descriptive and the two ideas face off to each other - unfaithfulness vs. deceit. The word liquidizer "reconciles" the two. The second one is very graphic and you express so much with only a few words. You have skillfully paired your words which adds to their forcefulness. A lot of expressed feeling. You did well in maintaining a short,long, short, long, short format.
I like both of these, The first one is very descriptive and the two ideas face off to each other - unfaithfulness vs. deceit. The word liquidizer "reconciles" the two. The second one is very graphic and you express so much with only a few words. You have skillfully paired your words which adds to their forcefulness. A lot of expressed feeling. You did well in maintaining a short,long, short, long, short format.
James T. Adair
Nice poem about bad romance. One must realize that infidelity is a symptom of lost romance and not it's cause. Easy to villify that person who was likely in their own solitary confinement long before they strayed. Now sadness has come home to roost. Funny we villify the poeple we supposedly love instead of laying claim to them. No wonder someone else does and they find love elsewhere. We rarely admit our own fault in it or even see it. Nobody here has cheated...right? Liars!!!!
Nice poem about bad romance. One must realize that infidelity is a symptom of lost romance and not it's cause. Easy to villify that person who was likely in their own solitary confinement long before they strayed. Now sadness has come home to roost. Funny we villify the poeple we supposedly love instead of laying claim to them. No wonder someone else does and they find love elsewhere. We rarely admit our own fault in it or even see it. Nobody here has cheated...right? Liars!!!!
Fay Slimm
Munia this makes tears start even before the end. Exquisitely written.
Munia this makes tears start even before the end. Exquisitely written.
narain, jay p.
Excellent write.
Excellent write.
tom balch
Fine from the heart Tanka, well penned indeed.
Fine from the heart Tanka, well penned indeed.
kath
A finely expressed pair of tankas here Munia! Betrayal should be spat out (and then jumped up and down on until it is soft and squishy!) :) kath xxx
A finely expressed pair of tankas here Munia! Betrayal should be spat out (and then jumped up and down on until it is soft and squishy!) :) kath xxx
JVL NARASIMHA RAO
Infidelity is really inexcusable.Your style is unique
Infidelity is really inexcusable.Your style is unique
Kesav V Easwaran
Two well written stanzas to express pain and anger, Munia...the selection of the tanka format looks very apt
Two well written stanzas to express pain and anger, Munia...the selection of the tanka format looks very apt
Sandra Martyres
A very hauting piece Munia.... I too sense the strong emotions behing this write..excellent penning
A very hauting piece Munia.... I too sense the strong emotions behing this write..excellent penning
magnolia
Wow Munia, I can feel pain and anger in this superb poem of betrayal...bookmarked...Maggie x
Wow Munia, I can feel pain and anger in this superb poem of betrayal...bookmarked...Maggie x
Karin Anderson
Excellent Munia and this is unforgettable poetry that hits hard with its power. "chokes my paranoiac breath did it for me!
Excellent Munia and this is unforgettable poetry that hits hard with its power. "chokes my paranoiac breath did it for me!
Kamala
This poem leaves a disturbia in my soul. Dear Munia, the haunting atmosphere is so powerful.
This poem leaves a disturbia in my soul. Dear Munia, the haunting atmosphere is so powerful.
Susan Jarvis
A poignant and powerful write that will leave its haunting image long after this reader leaves the page - the sure sign of fine poetry. :)
A poignant and powerful write that will leave its haunting image long after this reader leaves the page - the sure sign of fine poetry. :)
Meggie Gultiano
"chokes my paranoiac breath" wow!! Munia, strong words, with deep meaning within!!
"chokes my paranoiac breath" wow!! Munia, strong words, with deep meaning within!!
carol
love the way you wrote this - exhale his fibs
love the way you wrote this - exhale his fibs
You got a beautiful way with words