The joy of participation is wonderful!Just a little effort for Ian's challenge.
“The Sea Had Shown Me Mercy”- PPP
“The sea had shown me mercy”-
I confessed to the prosy desert island beach.
Beneath my proud feet a sea star felt like a leech
My pyretic body and tanned skin felt more marooned!
And my pushy prosaic imagination had been swooned.
“The sea had shown me mercy”-
to the provocative palm trees I repeatedly said.
My prurient love fancied my lover with a mermaid.
The sea had shown me mercy.
My fake puritanical heart hid into the puny sand dune caves.
My putrid mind hated the laughing children of the waves.
The sea had shown me mercy.
The sea had shown me mercy
before the sun burnt my fatal desire to feel
that the precious glimmering ocean waters were real.
Written on the 13th August,2011
©Munia Khan 2011
This is profound, philosophical poem Munia and demands that reader should make at least couple of goes at it. A deep, thought provoking poem that can keep your mind's eye working for hours. Great one Munia.
There is more depth to this piece than at first appears. The alliteration (apart from the obvious Ps) is understated but adds well to the overall effect, and the rather forced-sounding rhymes at the beginning quickly give way to seriousness. The ending, with thoughts of suicide rejected, is beautiful and optimistic.
powerful deep emotions come to the surface...!
beautiful writing Munia:)
A wholly unique take on this challenge, and I just love your PPPPowerful adjectives - wonderful!!! :)
Fantastic entry Munia...Maggie x
Interesting and skilled write... has one savouring each line thoughtfully... deep and commendable
Imagination at it best and proudest...great entry.. Ian does have a challenge when it comes to the judging part...
Wow.. Brilliant! Profound and vast like the sea!
Utterly orginal Munia! This captures the imagination and pulls the reader into deeper waters than could ever be imagined! :) kath xxxxxxxxx
Very impressive work Munia... I was watching you while sun was burning your skin :-))
Your imagination continues to aid you well. These two parts stood out for me. The long o sound of Marooned and swooned gave me the impression that you would be there for a while. My pyretic body and tanned skin felt more marooned! And my pushy prosaic imagination had been swooned I like the delightful inseret of this line. the laughing children of the waves.
Lovely and impressive Munia, Good luck.
I highly original and impressive entry Munia and the conclusion brilliant! "A sea star fell like a leech" really caught my eye!
Nice Entry Munia ! Well Done Good Luck !!
Brilliant work Munia.
Excellent penning Munia.
very lovely munia
Nice imageries Munia...the use of refrain is emphatic...the closing lines the most i liked...a nice entry to challenge Desert
Quenching imagescaping, young lady...This Villanellesque construction moves with poetic dexterity.The tercets work well... A most worthy entry,missy! ~FjR~
Wow! Wonderful, marvelous! Impressive, superb! I love it! La, but you packed the "p" adjectives in beautifully! The imagery is rich and fascinating, thought-provoking, and the conclusion excellent! I love it! Wow!!! (I ran out of ready superlatives).
A precarious perspective of non-placid profundity Munia. Loved those last two lines too.
I present to you a blue ribbon for this verse of pure magic...Ah Munia...A Heart Tender for sure. Dorothy A Poet Who Loves To Sing
'My pyretic body and tanned skin felt more marooned', 'My fake puritanical heart hid into the puny sand dune caves' - oh my, only you can be so dizzyingly creative. just loved the concluding lines as well.