I was born and raised on a chicken farm in the Florida Keys by a suicidal cult of transvestite prostitutes who dressed up in gorilla suits and played loud Polka music from distorted speakers at all hours of the night. After escaping the chicken farm, I was taken hostage by an Elvis impersonator who forced me at gunpoint to write poetry and sing Britney Spears songs in Chinese. I later escaped the Elvis impersonator and now roam the streets of South Beach in a tutu yelling random things at people.