⋅ 23 May 2011

Endoscopy's Pleasures

GP suggests he see the man
to get a proper CT scan.
No hemorrhoid itself protrudes
from sphincter sanctuaries of dudes.

Thus, quickly he washed all the parts
and hoped to keep inside the farts.
They shoved and pushed and twisted soon
though he had hoped for a balloon.

The tube was cold, so was the gel,
yet it moved forward rather well,
past bottlenecks and furry folds
and spaces where the body holds

small seeds and wooden fibrous bits.
Main worry is the nozzle fits
and with its sling attached it hurts
and triggers gas and frequent spurts.

He felt the instrument advance
and hoped they realised their plans,
a tickle near the thyroid gland
felt just like an undie filled with sand,

"how long" he asked "might be this tool",
but there was silence, he the fool
just crouched there, hands and knees at rest
in his insides a gleaming guest

of chrome and little bits of brass
which had been stuck into his ass.
Aha ! There was a novel sound
perhaps the culprit had been found?

I'll snip some samples now, don't move,
(perhaps they'd place it in the Louvre)?
Although the orderly had swept
the passage where the crap is kept,

with water and the Harris Flush
he'd missed a small amount of mush
which, due to forces quite unknown
were quickly hurled (or rather thrown)

against the starched and white attire,
across the belly part and higher.
Inside, the loop which is the sling
was clinging to that nasty thing,

which some call diverticuli,
the doctor breathed a muffled cry
and yanked with abs and biceps might
in hopes the noose, still safe and tight,

would come back out from deep within.......
when something hit his bearded chin.
It was of course the fancy loop
still functional but full of goop.

The scene was a true work of art
but, he, aware there was a fart
all set to seek some fresher air
still on the table, cheeks quite bare,

now squeezed, (his gluteals were fit)
but there was silence now, to wit
and there, where nurses, docs and more
were watching him, and all the gore,

He failed the test of manners mate,
it could have been the stuff he ate.

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  • You do have a rare sense of humour...23 May 2011 by

  • Ah, my dear wom of bat - this was a funny write indeedy. I like a bit of intestinal humour, me (see me Grapes of Wrath). never trust anything that ends in -oscopy! Mitch23 May 2011 by

  • This is so hilarious! And I thought endoscopy was something very serious. Only after reading this verse did I realize that there can be humor in the field of medicine, too. I like the rhyme and rhythm in this and in most of your verses.23 May 2011 by

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