⋅ 10 January 2013
bild från FlickrPhoto by Flickrby Rongem Boyo

Mist of Time ~ (Rain's Challenge)

(A highly regarded Poetfreak friend, Ron Peat, pointed out I was overly enamored of jamming, into every line, as many syllables as I possibly could... He was (and is) absolutely right but, for some reason, I just can’t seem to break the habit : /


Looking at you, here and now,
I’d never have believed
That the best and brightest part of you
Has yet to be perceived.

The mere remembrance of
The gentle contour of your face
Will instill in me the passion
Of an intimate embrace.

Forever’s just a second
When its finest aspect's passed.
No matter how we savor them
The years fly will fly too fast.

I hope I can appreciate,
When I’m old and wise,
The wonder of you, I now view
With inexpressive eyes.

But how might I ever hope to forgive
Wry irony's mordant crime
That will allow me only to see your worth
Through the distant mist of time.

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  • A lovely romantic entry into Rain's challenge - that final stanza brought me near tears Jess.10 Jan 2013 by

  • OH my we have no chance...lol lol great write....the bard himself wow...ok ...smiles.......GOOD LUCK....its brilliant by the way10 Jan 2013 by

  • This is great, nice work fella.10 Jan 2013 by

  • Beautiful penning, after reading all these great entries I'm having cold feet.10 Jan 2013 by

  • I´m with Fay, the last stanza did it for me. A great entry indeed, Chaos.10 Jan 2013 by

  • Fantastic write Chaos, good luck in the challenge10 Jan 2013 by

  • i really dig this man, its deep.11 Jan 2013 by

  • This is wonderful...great work!!! kudos..:)11 Jan 2013 by

  • Great poem, you have added a very creative imagination in some lines And the use of words in this poem were used in brilliant way . truly excellent romantic poem , good luck for the entry in rain's challenge.11 Jan 2013 by

  • As usual.. An excellent entry Chaos.. Beautiful poetry.. Misty eyed too..good luck with the challenge11 Jan 2013 by

  • How dare you reduce me to tears ?!!...this wonderful song is bringing out the best romantics on PF. Truly a beautiful entry my friend...Maggie11 Jan 2013 by

  • I've corrected two typos and juiced a couple of lines since originally posting this. I don't know whether or not it disqualifies me from the competition, but I thought I should mention it : |11 Jan 2013 by

  • Oh how I wish I had saved your original to compare ! It was perfect to me :)11 Jan 2013 by

  • WOW! Mist of Time, will YOU be my singing partner then, Jess? A romantic song..but...Beautifully thought, Jess, wish yoiu much success in Rain's Challenge, I'll meet you there...Bye from Sylvia11 Jan 2013 by

  • The perfectionest in us always gets the best of us...but I thought it was grand the first...but sir the secound..gawd...need I say more...wow...fantastic11 Jan 2013 by

  • I have read the poem several times Jess, honestly am spellbound; you have composed it with such sincerity, maturity, right from the first stanza. Although the poem is composed in a simple style, it has such depth. sometimes it takes a life time to understand and appreciate people for who they are. all the best for the challenge Jess.12 Jan 2013 by

  • Sorry i missed this as i am sure i have missed others but i commend you on such a fine write indeed :)13 Jan 2013 by

  • WOW! Jess, CONGRATULATIONS for WINNING the song-contest in rain's Challenge, a big kiss from me! You cannot brak your habit and see: you have won! So be yourself always, that's better.Once again my heartfelt congrats for having won this most unique challenge! And my greatest thanks to my darling rain, for all her efforts in these three long days. GBU both!14 Jan 2013 by

  • A worthy winner indeed !...congratulations :))14 Jan 2013 by

  • Thanks to all for their kind comments and encouragement. I've read all the other entries in Rain's challenge and was greatly impressed by their diversity and quality; patricular thanks to Rain for encouraging me to participate : )14 Jan 2013 by

  • sorry a typo: break (third line), thank you.17 Jan 2013 by

  • So passionate and romantic and so beautifully composed...no wonder Rain preferred to sing along! Congrats19 Jan 2013 by

  • A different gleam it adds to you and so so sweet, no doubt you won. Congrats!21 Jan 2013 by

  • a very fine write....love to be appreciated,and expressed well......not to take for granted !loved the soft tones in this wonderful write,to be savored through years !21 Feb 2013 by

  • Whoa! This one is as good as the humourous, wisdom-filled and in-your-face breed of unique poetry that I know you for! Rain must have been honored to have had such a masterpiece as an entry. Beautifully done. 8 Apr 2013 by

  • Wow such a passionate poem. Itz so profound through out... I am enthralled with it. You are an inspiration. :) Favorite part:Forever’s just a second When its finest aspect's passed. No matter how we savor them The years fly will fly too fast.26 May 2013 by

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